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Thread: Programmer jokes

  
  1. #1
    J697 is offline Programmer -Hacks Enthusiast
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    Default Programmer jokes

    Here are some pretty funny programmer jokes I found searching around the web. Feel free to add your own if you have any

    Spoiler:

    Wife: Honey, go to the grocery store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy 6.
    Husband: The husband, a programmer. Ok dear.

    Some time later...

    Husband: I'm back. <with 6 loafs of bread>
    Wife: Why on earth did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
    Husband: They had eggs


    Spoiler:

    Knock, knock
    Who's there?
    *very long pause
    Java


    Spoiler:

    Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.

    Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”

    “Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”

    Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.

    Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”

    God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”


    Spoiler:

    Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

    The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

    “Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”


    Why are programmers always confusing Christmas with Halloween?
    Spoiler:

    OCT 31 = DEC 25


    how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
    Spoiler:

    none, that's a hardware problem


    Funny programmer pictures/comics
    Spoiler:




    Unrelated humor

    Spoiler:

    A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

    The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”

    The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

    Last edited by dbrums; 04-13-2013 at 12:21 PM. Reason: updating

  2. #2
    hardhat is offline Programmer -Hacks Enthusiast
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    How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
    Spoiler:
    Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."


    Have you heard how fast the PSP2 is?
    Spoiler:
    It can finish an infinite loop in 6 seconds flat!
    Last edited by hardhat; 12-31-2010 at 12:24 AM.

  3. #3
    Ryu's Avatar
    Ryu
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    a comic strip
    Spoiler:



    PSP 1.5 got on USA first day is was 1.5 NOW 4.01 M33-2 -> 5.00 M33-6(1.50 addon),
    Old PS3s: PS3 60GB FW:3.41(2nd ps3 YLoD, 1st, YLoD)
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    It a good idea to have "Hide extensions for known file types" in Folder Options(under Tool) unchecked (turn on extensions)

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  4. #4
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    are those supposed to be funny ? (except Ryu')

    -"OOh! sceGuClear?! Sounds exciting! I wanna stick my dick in it!" Stinkee2
    -DO NOT choose "install alongside other OS" when installing ubuntu 10.04 or higher

  5. #5
    Organized_Chaos's Avatar
    Organized_Chaos is offline Senior Member -Hacks Titan
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    I laughed at the one about Christmas and Halloween and I laughed at the one about string that wasn't null terminated.

    So yes, I think they should be funny... if you have a sense of humor and/or you are a programmer.

  6. #6
    J697 is offline Programmer -Hacks Enthusiast
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTN View Post
    are those supposed to be funny ? (except Ryu')
    Of course they are, why else would I post them?
    Last edited by J697; 01-01-2011 at 03:04 AM.

  7. #7
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    Knock, knock
    Who's there?
    *very long pause
    Java
    That made me laugh very hard for about 5 seconds until I realized my family was in the room. None of them being in the slightest bit computer smart.
    "PM Oyabun a bunch of gay pr0n and you're in." - ...BeAkEr... (BeAkErOo)

  8. #8
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    @$PsPhaKeR : i was just asking

    -"OOh! sceGuClear?! Sounds exciting! I wanna stick my dick in it!" Stinkee2
    -DO NOT choose "install alongside other OS" when installing ubuntu 10.04 or higher

  9. #9
    J697 is offline Programmer -Hacks Enthusiast
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTN View Post
    @$PsPhaKeR : i was just asking
    lol, sorry having bad computer troubles

  10. #10
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    awesome_skittle is offline -Hacks Neophyte
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    lol nice jokes


    PSP 3001 MGSW 6.20 TN-D

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